I don’t know if it’s the lack of emotional awareness or is it the Lost and Never Found moments of Self-Reflection that has led us into losing our authenticity somewhere behind us. Come to think of it, it could be a lot of other things. One major thing, I believe, is the lost confidence. The confidence or belief in what we’re saying.
You see, things generally go worse before they get better, and it is in that ‘worse phase’ that we start losing the last shred of hope left within us, for us.
Inside everybody is a weird wiggly ball of Anxiety, and it doesn’t take much to make it go bonkers in our minds.
When doing anything that requires us to be Bold, there is a whole world of Self-doubt-born-Questions that start existing. Questions like, “Am I okay with being considered Bitchy?” or “Am I correct?” or “Should I really Speak what I’m thinking?”
See, our world can easily be compartmentalized into the Safe zones and the Drama prone Land mines. And it is the fear of stepping into one of those land mines that we’ve got ourselves into a habit of doing things such as softening our speech to sound more likable. We’ve started diminishing words, opinions and thoughts to ensure we don’t get labelled as Bitchy, Aggressive or just plain Dumb. We’ve started apologizing before asking a question and for taking up space.
We’ve lost, in us, the ability to communicate our competence in a positive way over the attempts of being warm.
We’re making attempts to be a more publicly acceptable version of ourselves which ends up to a mere mixture of personalities of our favorite TV characters and the protagonist of the last great Movie we watched. Their catchphrases have become our Life motto, until something better comes along.
All we do now is try and be the best version of a ‘somebody’ to someone else’s ‘somebody’.
We dissolve who we were, most of whatever we stand for, due to a bad thing that happened. When I say bad thing though, I don’t mean one slightly harsh thing that we had to take or one inconvenient incident that took place. I mean the One thing that pushed us to lose it, the One thing that topped everything else that was bottling up and let the Cork out. It isn’t always a huge thing that makes us lose hope in our survival as who we are. Most times, it is just a whole lot of bits and pieces that get out of hand.
One of the most popular shopworn tid bits used to console people who’re in a bad place is “Let it go”. And most of the times that I’ve heard it for myself has only gone to make me feel like it’s my fault and it’s not okay to feel this way.
They think it’ll be easier that way, if one needs a fresh start, I for one, have a slightly different opinion about that. It’s not requisite to let something go immediately in order to grow out of it.
No, I’m not promoting the baggage carrying forever. You have to let that go sometime.
I’m inferring to using the baggage, not as Ammunition for once, but as Motivation.
And once you get the boost start to where you want to go, you can let your shoulders be free of everything and anything that has ever made you feel like less than.